Bringing Emotions To God

Texts:
Sirach 35:12-17, Psalm 84:1-7, 2 Timothy 4:6-8, 16-18, Luke 18:9-14

Jesus told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt

It’s been a long week. On Tuesday at the vestry meeting several of us were already feeling it. The week was just full and slightly off. For me, I’ve been over-caffeinated and under-slept most of the week. So I look at this Gospel lesson and I just say, “Yup.” Because Jesus’ message is pretty darn clear. I feel like it’s as relevant today as it was in Jesus’ time, we just have different people doing the praying. But the message remains the same. Don’t cut others down to build yourself up before God. Focus on what’s going on with you. Bring that before God.

Cut downs happen all the time in our society. How many times has someone counted their blessings by saying, “At least I’m not poor, at least I have a car, at least I have…” or “I really can’t complain, I mean, look at what this person is going through”? Those are subtle cut downs, a comparison of yourself to others in a way that makes you look better compared to them. It’s okay to be grateful for what you have. But you don’t have to compare your stuff to others in order to look better. 

Think about why we actually do that. What is our emotional state in those moments? I don’t know about you, but when I’m comparing myself to others, trying to lift myself up by sharing what I have that others don’t, I’m usually doing it because I feel insecure or sad or scared or angry. I’m trying to mask emotions that I don’t really want to feel. I’m mad and feel insecure about not being able to afford something, so I say, “At least I have a home…” I feel insecure and scared about a new health diagnosis  so I say, “I really can’t complain, I mean look at what this person is going through…” Instead of owning feelings, I deflect. That’s very common. It’s natural. It’s maybe even helpful when trying to build yourself up to go out and get things accomplished. But at the end of the day, in your time with God, the barriers can come down. God wants me to say, “I feel hurt and angry” not “At least I’m better off than some others.” That’s a relationship of trust. That’s a relationship that assumes God can handle what’s actually going on with us, even if it seems petty or stupid. Our emotions simply are. We can process them with the one who knows every hair on our head. 

Probably the hardest emotions to bring to God are anger and contempt. I think there is still a very strong image in our culture of the Christian as a docile and meek person, someone who simply submits to God without complaint. That image is being broken up by multiple groups within Christianity, by people of all stripes and flavors, but they usually break it down in order to highlight the idea of righteous anger, anger on behalf of God. Where is the space for simple human anger and contempt? Where is the space for just being really pissed off at someone? Where does that go? Jesus shared this parable to talk with people who hold others in contempt. What should they do? 

I see Jesus asking them to be honest about it. And he has scriptural backing here. A surprisingly large number of psalms express how pissed off the author is. Whether it’s at another country, a community leader, or even at their best friend, the author just lets it all out. And the people cataloged and held onto these songs, they sang them together. These are the heartbreak ballads of the Israelites and they are still sung and spoken today. They can be harsh, some even ask God to kill people, but they are used to express raw hurt. I don’t think they are still used because we believe God will kill our enemies, I think we keep these psalms because they are a release of very painful emotions. We can say, “God, I hate this person.” That’s not a sin. It would be a sin to actually harm them, but sharing your raw and honest feelings with God often brings catharsis and helps us find a way forward, it doesn’t have to cause pain to another human being, in fact it can sometimes prevent the infliction of pain as we ask God to help us deal with it.

What brings more pain to others, what keeps conflicts alive even for generations, is deflection. Conflicts form and live in those areas where we say, “At least I’m not like that person.” That’s actually a strategy that was used to pit poor white people against black people in this country. White became an elevated status, going so far as to call itself the superior race, not just so rich white people could enslave humans, but so the poor white people, even in their terrible living conditions, were able to say, “At least I’m not black”. In creating those narratives and shaping the story of white superiority, society deflected the emotions of those white people who didn’t have enough, who needed economic upliftment, and pitted them against a group that had similar needs to their own. We’re still dealing with that mindset today. What would happen if all those who were downtrodden, no matter their racial background, came together and said, “We’re mad that we don’t have what we need”? That’s a unifying statement, not a divisive one. It’s also a statement that has the ability to reshape this country. There’s power in that kind of honesty. 

But honesty with God can be a bit of a scary thing. We want God to like us. There are many who grow up with insecure attachments to God, who are told that they have to behave in certain ways and be a certain type of person in order to be loved by God. Children are still taught a Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God mindset, where they imagine themselves dangling over the pit of hell and only God is keeping them out. If they piss God off too bad, what might happen? 

God is bigger than us and mightier than us. I think C.S. Lewis was very right to portray God as Aslan the lion, both compassionate and a bit dangerous. There is mystery in God. If we think we fully know God, we’ve put God in a box, making God smaller than who God actually is. 

But God loves us fully and completely. Jesus shows us what this love looks like. God’s love is like a healthy attachment between a parent and their child. You can melt into God’s arms. You can be fed by God’s own hand. There is space to be vulnerable, to come with all that you are and all that you have. God knows you. God helped birth you into the world. There is nothing that can separate you from God’s love. If you open yourself up to God, God’s not going to smite you. God’s going to be there for you. Even if the world sucks, even if things get worse, not better, God’s there. God would be there no matter what, there is no place where God is not present, but the ability to talk with God about whatever’s happening can make a huge difference. God wants to hear what you have to say, completely, fully, and honestly.

This week, I invite you to mull over this parable. Where are you in it? What do you see? Talk with God about it. Some literally speak out loud to God, others write letters or journal, others meditate, still others create art. However you talk with God will do. I invite you into that time and space. God’s eager to have that honest conversation with you.